Monday, December 14, 2009

Celibacy? Drum roll please...........

What's going on with the celibacy thing?....drum roll please.......it has come to an end...or had come to an end. I am back in the same place although not by choice.

I made it to 14 months...yep and you all know I was holding out for someone wonderful. Did that happen? It did momentarily. He was everything I needed at the time. Unfortunately, things didn't work out...but we won't dwell on the negative, instead let me tell you that the sex was off the hook. It's funny you sometimes forget what you are missing out on when you've gone so long without something...I was so missing out. But, it was different this time...it wasn't some random mean nothing guy...it was someone who captured my mind first and then my heart.

I have to tell you though that the first time was hard...I was drinking a little and we were in the hot tub. I knew I wanted to do it...but I had placed such a big expectation on myself to not have sex that when I did...I felt horrible. The sex part was great but the emotions that went along with it were fucking insane. I felt guilty...I felt like I had let myself down...I even cried right there in the hot tub. It was crazy...I wanted it...I cared about this person but it really messed with me for a few minutes. I got over it quickly needless to say.

I am no longer on a quest for celibacy...but I have to tell you that I am going to continue to hold out for that special someone. I deserve it...although I have to tell you tonight I could really go for some forceful, hard, hot sex....yes right about now that sounds like exactly what the doctor ordered. Call me Dr. D.

9 comments:

Lynchie said...

Congrats! I am super proud of you and think that you did an awesome thing by holding out that long. Now I don't want you to become an inspiration for other ladies or we will have a lot of unhappy guys wanking it just to get some.

Ms Dawn P. said...

LOL...I love the thought of that. Women everywhere hold out...ok not really...I don't think I could do it again for that long...but I suppose if it takes that long to find Mr. Right...I will wait again. Hurry buy some stock in adult novelties. LOL

And thanks for the kind words...they are much appreciated.

Twist said...

Well, I guess congratulations in order! Both congrats for holding out for so long... and congrats for scoring some hot action, lol! Seriously, though... I'm sorry he wasn't the perfect 'Mr Right', but I'm glad you've relieved yourself in that way. I can imagine how weird and emotional it must have felt to break the tradition. You sure do deserve the most magnificently special man ever, someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. :)

Oh, and I can't resist mentioning how much I could help you out with that desire for "forceful, hard, hot sex". ;) XxX

phaust said...

hmmm...what to say? to be honest i'm more concerned about what happened to this guy...don't get me wrong. yes, you did a great thing by keeping control of yourself for such a long period of time, gotta respect that since i am considering breaking my own sexual fasting period. your emotional state at the time is a slight concern, i mean damn i really want to do this but i don't want to feel as if i am betraying myself by giving into what my body desires..nevertheless, sounds like it was good. i am curious to know what happened with this guy

Buck Kelly said...

Congrats - On one hand I wish it was me but I would not have treated u like that so we still be in the hot tub - but I hope u have a great holiday and we can talk again - later cute and sexy

Buck
Muah
Love me some Ms Dawn P

Anonymous said...

Yay! I'm glad it ended up meaning something meaningful and hot at the same time. Mr Perfect will come, doubt not. But I think it's sort of cool it happened at the end of the year. Makes the new year nicer to look at. :)

Ariel Carter said...

Wow. Congrats are in order, but the way he made you feel to take your emotions and twist it around while having some drinks is pretty low down, i think that it's good that it didn't work out, 'cuz it seemed he was another one of those "in it to win it, once and done and fuggedaboutit" type of guys. You do deserve better, but it's good to have a physical release every now and again lol I'm on my 6th month of no sex so I'm pretty hurting too lol.

Anonymous said...

I happened upon this blog by accident...

I would just like to say that you are on a path that few of us are either brave or principled enough to take. It didn't work out this time but I am sure that, given your obvious beauty and brains, you will find the right person.

You are setting about it the right way which most of the rest of us, myself included, fail to do!

Good luck!

G.

Mark Hendricks said...

You want that special someone and so do I. Let's discover if we are for each other. My name is Mark Hendricks. Reach me at bmlvsbbw@yahoo.com. Let's see if we can make each other giggle.