Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mission Accomplished!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, on July 13th @ midnight I celebrated one year of celibacy.

CELIBACY
–noun
1. abstention from sexual relations.
2. abstention by vow from marriage: the celibacy of priests.
3. the state of being unmarried.

Abstention from sexual relations...everyone wants to know why...well I thought I would take the celebration of my one year of celibacy to really explain...just who I am and why this has become so important to me. This year of no sex didn't start out as a vow of celibacy...I was just a woman tired of being used by men. I hated waking up the day after having sex with some guy and feeling bad about myself. Beating myself up because deep inside I knew I didn't want to do it...but I just couldn't say no. The last few times I had sex were just that...I actually had an experience where I told the guy no, over and over again...and he fucking whined like a little bitch until I just said, "Fine just do it!" Who would really be interested in having sex with someone who didn't want to have it with them? So, he did his thing...and I just laid there...I was his real life blow up doll...I did not participate at all. I was disgusted...I felt so violated. I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there. (the reason I didn't leave sooner is I was drunk and could not drive). And then my last experience was better but much of the same...I really did want to do it...but it just was painful and I wasn't "ready". I woke up the next morning and got the fuck outta there...and then I beat myself up.

Now, don't get me wrong I don't believe you have to be in a committed relationship to have good sex...but I have done all the bullshit and really...the best sex I have had(and I have had some amazing sex) I at least had a form of a relationship with the guy. Maybe not a committed one but there was an established friendship or some sort of level of trust. So, I made it to a year and then I had a week left in Vegas to do what I thought was going to end up being some crazy sex. But, I thought about it and this celibacy thing feels pretty good...I haven't felt bad the next day in over a year. I haven't felt pressured...I really like where I am in this venture. I think I am going to wait for someone special...it's my time. If you are out there...I am waiting for you.

Now...after you read my next blog you aren't going to believe I am still on my quest...I saw some wild shit in Vegas...I mean stuff you don't see in just a normal day. I went out the the World Famous Red Rooster...yes I have some crazy stories...stay tuned.

8 comments:

Don Carlos said...

Good for you, Dawn...definitely looking forward to reading your next installment now LOL

Buck Kelly said...

As always Dawn - It's nice in life when a person has the chance do what they want to do and not let others decide what they should do - staying true to yourself and waiting is nice. I can't wait to read your next blog post - stay classy Ms Dawn P and talk 2 u later - love ya lots - stay sweet, sexy and stunning - later cute and sexy - Buck xoox Muah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course if you need me to fly to Az I am always ready at a moments notice - lol

Christopher Cruz said...

Good for you Dawn! Congrats on sticking to your guns and not giving in to temptations or living by someone else's rules. You are a sexy woman, yet not a sex object. It's hard to fathom that such a beautiful, caring woman was used and treated as a "personal sex toy" of sorts by undeserving men not worthy of your time.

Twist said...

Well, I think you deserve all the praise in the world for undertaking a venture of chastity... in this day and age where we're surrounded by sex, it's quite a brave thing to do, and I applaud you for it, Ms P!

But I really hope you do find someone special who you can share that intimacy with... never despair, life always surprises with that it can come up with. Believe it or not, there are genuine, loving, passionate, respectful guys out there. A minority, perhaps, but they do exist!
XxX

Bam Bam said...

I'm glad you reached your year of celibacy for a legitimate reaon and one that makes sense. I applaud you Dawn.

I hope you can find a guy who you trust enough to be with either as a friend or boyfriend. I wish you all the best, darlin' and any man should feel good to have a beautiful woman like you in their life or on their arm.

Take care baby and feel free to stop by and say hello sometime. I look forward to your next Blog.

Love ya!
Bam Bam

Lynchie said...

That's my girl. I am proud of you. I hope to see you on the first so I can give you a congratulatory hug and pitcher of beer :-)


Love
Lynchie

Anonymous said...

I think what you're doing is not strange, or unusual. I have felt the same way my whole life. Growing up as a shy boy, I often tried to be someone I wasn't, and ended up in relationships that left me empty deep inside. Being a horny guy, sex has always been vital to me, but at that time it ended up being not the way I wanted it to be either.

When I found someone special, sex also became special, and better with time. In fact, I never really understood one-night stands, because there is no "growth"... no real knowledge of the other person, just her/his body. It's kinda like fast food versus a slow, relaxing and excellent meal spanning over 3 or 4 hours, with antipasti, pasta, meat, sides, wine, cheese, fruit and dessert. Sex for me is something like that... it keeps getting better and better with time, because you have the time to know your partner even in that special way. And that's really worth waiting and looking for.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, the only reason a woman should just lie there is because the man intends to to do all the work in giving her orgasm as big as she is.

Forewarned76